We may not always feel that we get appreciation.  Here are a few pointers on how to live in a a world of abundant appreciation.  Enjoy!

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.”  Voltaire

Appreciation is hidden all around us; we just have to look for it or recognize it.  In our modern world, we have been so conditioned to only give it and expect it through Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas, Valentine’s, Thanksgiving, Anniversaries, and all the other pre-programmed “celebrations”.  Much of this is driven by consumerism and if we allow the schedule to be set by these artificial dates, then we risk losing the practice of appreciation.  It really is an everyday practice.

Why do we want appreciation?

1. It makes us feel valued.  Even a small nod, gesture or a thank you gives us a warm feeling.
2. It makes us feel seen.  We feel good when someone recognizes the qualities we appreciate about ourselves.
3. It makes us feel liked.  Being appreciated and being liked go hand in hand.  Everyone enjoys being liked.
4. It deepens the meaning in our life.  Feeling valued and important to others gives us meaning and purpose.
5. It connects us.  Appreciation strengthens the bond between people, strengthening the attachment we feel to others.

Observe It

1. Listen Actively.  When people talk, listen for the things they appreciate.  Employ genuine curiosity.
2. Watch What People Do.  Look for the less obvious ways people do things for you.  If someone does something for you, they are expressing their appreciation for you in the most subtle ways.  Replace you expectation of appreciation with discovery of unexpected appreciation.
3. Minimize Your Inner Whiner.  When you spend time on blame, you automatically don’t spend time on appreciation.
4. Discover what you appreciate and others don’t.  Be a detective and find hidden appreciations that nobody else sees, point it out at least to yourself.  Your own little treasure.

Live It

1. Project Appreciation to the World.  The more you show appreciation, the more you attract it.  ‘Nuff Said.
2. Show Appreciation for Others.  Even if you know someone knows you appreciate them, tell them!  People sure do love being the recipient.
3. Remove Expectations of Appreciation.  Give freely with no expectation of anything in return.  Be content with the fact that you have done something that deserves appreciation.
4. Assume Future Appreciation.  You will be appreciated, one way or another, silent or otherwise.  What a great world to live in!
5. Don’t Worry, Be Happy.  Stop worrying about whether you are getting it or not.

Act on It

1. Give More Appreciation.  Say more than thank you.  “I appreciate you”.  “I am happy to have you in my life”.  Find different ways to show it.
2. Random Acts of Kindness.  Practice doing kind things for others who will never know it was you.  
3. Give Unqualified Thanks.  When you thank someone, stay away from saying or feeling “you owe me one”; that is an appreciation killer.
4. Pay a Sincere Compliment.  Don’t just think something nice.  Say it, and mean it!
5. Create Something Useful.  When you do or create something useful, you put appreciation in the bank!
6. Throw an Appreciation Summit.  Sit down with the person/group and have everyone list out the top 3 things they want to be appreciated for, and the top 3 things they appreciate about the other person, and most importantly, how they want to be appreciated.

*Note: Point 6 is all about understanding people’s differences.  It is always fascinating to see how individuals value different forms of appreciation.

List of Don’ts!

1. Don’t expect appreciation from a narcissist.  You won’t get it.
2. Don’t require or force appreciation from people.  It won’t have the same weight when you do get it.
3. Don’t assume every little thing you are doing is noticed or appreciated.  That’s like keeping score; it can be exhausting.
4. Don’t jump to judgement when something is not appreciated immediately.  Patience.  If you change behaviours, you cannot expect those around you to do it automatically, or even notice right away.
5. Don’t hold appreciation ultimatums.  “I am going on strike until I am appreciated”.  There are gentler ways to have people come back into the appreciation world.

Life Long Practice

It is easy to get distracted and feel unappreciated.  We forget.  We take others for granted.  We get upset when they do it to us.  We hold ourselves and others in judgement.  The world can feel cold and harsh when we do not see appreciation, practice it, or notice it.

So, appreciation is a life long practice.  The more we do it, the more it becomes part of our lives, and the more we attract it from others.  Practicing appreciation is like going to the gym.  It is hard to do, but once it is part of your routine, you will live a healthier and more fulfilling life!

I appreciate you, my reader, and wish you all the best!

Please feel free to comment below, send me some direct feedback, or share on the Socials.  I am grateful to have you on this journey with me!