There are many people who value themselves for their busyness and compete with each other for the title of “most busy”.  They regale in stories of how the world is conspiring to keep them busy, and how they are sacrificing so much for others.  I’ve been that person and I managed to find a better outlook on busyness.

Read on to see the history of my own Busyness Myths, which led me to the realization that busyness is a choice.  Finally, I reveal my 8 tactics I use when dealing with busyness.

Definition of Busyness: The state or condition of having a great deal to do.

Myth 1: Busyness means I am important.

I used to see busyness as proof of my importance.  I would get up in the morning and go all day long without a break.  I believed the world around me would crumble if I stopped for just a moment.  I was the only thing keeping my family/job/company/society from total destruction.  

I’ve been in companies where I believed that disaster would strike if I took time off if I delegated and that nobody would do it as well as me.  I also did not know when to say no, to prioritize, or to do things tomorrow.  After supper and on weekends, I would head to my computer, smartphone and keep on working. I would wear this busyness as a badge of honour, telling others how important I am in my business.

Hubris.

My realization: Being very busy does not make me important.

Myth 2: Busyness means I am a victim.

At one time or another, I believed that I was a victim of my job, my family, the government, my kid’s schools, and all kinds of other entities that demanded my time or effort in some way.

This was a story (lie?) I told myself.

I realized that the cold hard reality is that my busyness is a by-product of the choices that I made in my life.  In any moment, busyness may be unavoidable, but ultimately, it is well within my power to change the situation. So, if I wish to keep the badge of victimhood, then I must know that I am ultimately my own victim.

My realization: Being very busy is my fault.

Note:  There are situations where one is a powerless victim, where the environment is uncontrollable and impossible to escape, but this is not within the scope of this topic.  It is rare that one truly is powerless.

Myth 3: Busyness means there is no time to stop and think.

I have used busyness to avoid being alone with my thoughts.  Just stopping for a few minutes and reflecting on why and what I am doing can be very uncomfortable.  It is easier to keep busy than look in the mirror.  So I stayed busy.  

I operated very “successfully” but with an underlying feeling that I was “not happy”, that something was missing. It took me years to figure out to stop once in a while and ask myself why I am doing the things I am doing.  I dabbled in therapy and took on some life coaching to have someone else hold up a mirror to me.  

I now try to stick to a habit of self-reflection. I’ve found that scheduling down-time to do absolutely nothing lets my brain think about myself

My realization: Busyness can be a way to avoid necessary reflection.

Myth 4: Busyness is a sacrifice required by others.

This has become a variant on the martyrdom of victimhood and people claim (openly or privately) they are very busy for other people.  Let’s take children for example.  It is very socially acceptable for people to use busyness to buy/do/get things/experiences for their kids.  Justifications include: 

• “I held up my career for my children”.  
• “I work extra hours so I can buy my children the things I did not have”.
• “I must take my kids to every activity possible”.

I now know what children really want from are present and engaged parents.  Children have no expectation of busyness.

I have also used busyness to get approval from my wife/boss/parents/family.  There were (and probably still are) situations in my life where I craved approval and attention.  When I feel the old urge to impress, I remind myself of two things:

• I don’t need to impress those who love me with busyness.  They just want me to be happy. 
• I don’t need to impress those who do not love me.  Full Stop.

My realization: The sacrifice I am willing to make for others is usually in my mind.

Reality: Busyness is a choice.

Ultimately I realize that busyness is a choice.  This is true simply because I am the author of my own destiny.  The situation I am in is a product of all of the choices I made in my life and I am ultimately responsible.

The best part of all of this is the change in outlook on life.  If choice is freedom, and freedom contributes to happiness, then I can be happy even in the face of extreme busyness.  I know I can always change things.

I don’t try to find work-life balance and I don’t look at my chosen busyness as negative.   I look at busyness as my chosen life on my terms. I make sure to schedule lots of time for those that are important to me, and for myself.  The rest of the time, I push hard to live life to its fullest.

My life is busier than ever as I write this, and sometimes I catch myself in my old negative self talk.  Before I start to feel like victim, or blame others, I remind myself that it is ultimately my choice/fault that I am this busy, that I can change it if I want to, and then a top it off with a large dose of gratitude.

My realization: Busyness is a choice, I am grateful to be busy, and I can change it if I want to.

The 8 Basic Busyness Tactics

1. Be Present:  Whatever you do, be present in the moment.
2. Healthy attitude:  See busyness as a choice that leads to happiness.
3. Reflect on your busyness:  Take time to ask yourself why you do what you do.
4. Learn to say no:  Do not take on unnecessary items.
5. Guard your time:  Your time is valuable.  Don’t waste it.
6. Schedule downtime:  Add doing nothing to you busyness list.
7. Do it for others.  Do more for others: it is very rewarding.
8. Gratitude.  Be grateful you can be busy.